October Mixed Bag: Scary Things

October is here and so it feels appropriate to talk about scary things. There are the scary things that come along with the season: haunted houses, headless horsemen, ghosts and goblins. And then there are the scary things that come along with everyday life. The hard things. The things we don’t want to do but know we need to. Welcome to this month’s Mixed Bag full of all the scary things.

Halloween Scrooge

I’m going to start off with my own aversion to Halloween. I guess I liked Halloween when I was a little kid due to the promise of costumes and candy but as I got older it became less fun and more of a burden. Here are all the things I don’t like about Halloween, in ascending order of magnitude:

• I find it very stressful to find a costume
• Décor is mostly ugly: spiders, cobwebs, monsters, etc. (pumpkins being the exception)
• I have evolved to not like candy very much, and candy corns have always grossed me out 
• I don’t like scary things in general. Horror movies, haunted houses, anything bloody or dead – I’ll take a pass.
• Carving pumpkins is a pain in the ass

Obviously I did not abstain from Halloween when my kids were little. Because they were the cute-overload amidst all of the things I didn’t like. I treasure the pictures of the 3 of them in their costumes that I took every year and loved watching their dad take them out Trick-or-Treating while I manned the door for the other cities in the neighborhood.

But now that they are gone Halloween is more of a chore and aside from putting out pumpkins (not carved!) and answering the door with candy I don’t really participate. I don’t really have a point to make here except to say that I am not a lover of scary things in general and October is full of them!

The Scary In-Between

I heard something on a podcast the other day that resonated. They were saying that one of the scary things in life is the time between the Knowing and the Doing. That time after you’ve decided you need to do the hard thing but before you’ve actually started doing it. That in-between time is when the scary thing is the scariest because it’s not real yet. It’s just there in your head. The longer that in-between time lasts the scarier the thing gets because your mind is making it bigger and scarier. Kind of like in the movies when someone is in a forest at night and the longer they stay there, the bigger and scarier the trees look. Almost like they are alive and out to get you.

I find this to be true in my own life but also see it all the time with clients. They are dreading decluttering. They are afraid of the scary feelings. The more they think about it, the scarier it gets.Here’s a secret strategy to conquer those scaries. The more you can minimize the time between knowing you need to declutter and starting, the less scary it will be. Because you don’t give yourself the chance to mentally blow it out of proportion. Think on that one and put it into practice – it’s really a game changer!

Talk To Yourself

Speaking of scary things, I’m putting in a plug for talking to yourself. It’s always been scary for me, don’t ask me why! Even practicing a presentation (or talking to a camera!) has always felt weird, so I rarely did it.  Until now!

Turns out when you say things out loud something happens in your brain. It signals importance and intention. It deflates scary thoughts you’ve conjured up in your brain. I now use this tactic all the time, whether I’m reminding myself of something or psyching myself up to do something hard. It’s especially helpful when you are decluttering and have a hard time letting go of something particular that you know you should. Tell yourself out loud why you are getting rid of the thing, and let your other self answer back if needed. Have a little conversation with yoursef – it’s okay – in fact it’s great!

Embrace your two selves, the one who wants to protect you from the scary things and the inner coach who will coach you over the hurdle. As you practice this skill, the coach in your gets stronger and future decisions come easier. Oh, and talking to yourself definitely feels less scary!

30 Plants is working

I want to give a little update on my efforts to eat 30 plants a week (which I told you about in September’s Mixed Bag.) I’m trying to make this a part of my lifestyle for two main reasons: to increase the diversity of my gut biome (lots of health and logevity benefits) and increasing the percentage of plants in my diet (reduction of menopause belly.) It’s been a month and I’m happy to report it’s going well! My jeans aren’t feeling tight (yay!) And while I haven’t tested the gut biome, I feel confident that the ‘good bugs’ are multiplying in there and growing strong!

While eating 30 different plants every week sounds challenging (and a little scary), it’s really not that bad if you employ a few key strategies. First of all, it’s important to know that in referencing plants I’m not referring to only fruits and vegetables, but also nuts, seeds and grains. I have 2 main strategies to make this work.

The first is making smoothies that include multiple fruits, spinach, almond butter and seeds knock out about 10 of the 30 easily. Then the other 20 come through the dinners I cook 4-5 times a week. I just need to make sure the recipes I’m choosing include 4-5 plants in the ingredients. That’s not hard when you remember that common ingredients like onions, garlic and scallions and beans count! There have been some great recipes I’ve found from the cookbook I got, which are packed with plant diversity. If you are interested in learning more or trying this yourself here’s a link to the podcast episode that inspired me! 

I love finding ways to knock Scary Things off their game. October is the perfect month to practice the strategies that make Scary Things easy, so get out there and try one for yourself!