The Embarrassing Story of My Decluttered Wedding Dress

I’m departing from my usual format to tell an embarrassing story that also taught me an important lesson. This is a story about my wedding dress, but it’s also a story about decluttering. Wedding dresses are often one of the hardest things to declutter. Even though we know going in we are only going to wear the dress once, we keep it for one or more of the following reasons.

We spent a lot of money on it

It represents a truly happy day day in our lives

We hope to pass it on to a daughter, daughter-in-law or grandchild

It represents a size we once were

It’s a beautiful thing that we like to visit and admire every now and again

All of those reasons are common and valid and human. I got married when I was 26 and wasn’t really thinking about what I would someday do with my dress, but I definitely planned to keep it. I likely had dreams of passing it on to a daughter or pulling it out to try on. My own mother did not save her wedding dress, which was a simple white sheath she had made for not very much money in the 60’s. She told me it yellowed over time and the zipper was sticky so it wasn’t really worth keeping. It was never an option for me to wear, which was fine because I was so excited to pick out my own dress!

The Princess Bride

I found my dress after one appointment at a bridal boutique in Georgetown (we lived in the Washington DC area.) Going in I thought I wanted a mermaid-style but quickly pivoted to a full skirt when the sales-woman pointed out that there were only a few opportunities in life to wear a full skirt and feel like a princess. Sold! I went with silk satin and tulle. Layers and layers of tulle.

As you can see from the photos my husband Jay and I had a lovely wedding and the dress was perfect. I did indeed feel like a princess! When we returned from our honeymoon I dutifully took the dress to our local dry cleaner to have it cleaned and boxed up.

At the time Jay and I were both working hard as Buyers for Nordstrom and not making a ton of money. We were trying hard to save money for a house. We didn’t have a lot of extra cash on hand. Every time I went in to drop off or pick up my regular dry cleaning I neglected to pick up my wedding dress. I knew it was going to cost over $150 (which was a lot for us in 1996!) and it always seemed like I needed that $150 for something else. So I kept punting on my dress, and the months went by.

The Cross Country Move

Fast forward to 2 years later and I still haven’t picked up my dress. I would forget about it for long stretches but every once in a while I would remember and think ‘I should go pick it up, it’s been there forever.’ But I didn’t.

Now it’s 1999. I’m pregnant with our first baby and we get the news that Nordstrom is restructuring their merchandising organization. We will be moving across the country to the company’s headquarters in Seattle. What a crazy time. Trying to pack, traveling across the country to house hunt while still working. It was the biggest change I’d ever experienced. Starting a new job, having my first baby and buying our first house all within a span of 3 months. After coming out of that fog, staring down at our first-born son I suddenly remembered: I never picked up the dress.

I was internally mortified and too embarrassed to tell anyone. So I didn’t. I didn’t tell my husband. I didn’t tell my parents (who paid for the dress.) I didn’t even tell my best friend. For years I waited for someone to ask me about my dress but the years went by and no one did.

The Secret Is Revealed

Fast forward 24 years. I never told anyone about my embarrassing wedding dress story until now! I ended up with 2 daughters and they have never once asked me about my dress. The feelings would hit hard every once in a while. But they were feelings of guilt, not sadness. I didn’t ever actually wish I had the dress, I was mostly just embarrassed that I passively decluttered it!

So here’s the moral of the story. Keep the dress, don’t keep the dress – it’s totally up to you and I harbor no judgment either way. But take it from someone who accidentally decluttered her wedding dress and didn’t really miss it – you don’t have to keep it. And I’m sure it’s beautiful and someone else would love to wear it. And you have all of the gorgeous pictures of the dress and you looking fabulous in it while having fun! And if you have girls and if they get married it’s highly likely they will want to find their own dresses. And if you’re reading this and own a Dry Cleaner in Reston, Virginia, I’m so sorry I ditched my dress and I hope you found it a happy home!

Oh, and – I do still have my veil 🫣. If you would like to declutter your wedding dress but are struggling with the feelings – I offer 1:1 coaching ❤️