Your Clutter: Friends for a Season

This blog is about how it’s okay not to own things forever. Just because you bought something does not mean you are now responsible for keeping it as long as you live.  Have you ever heard the adage ‘Friend for a reason, friend for a season, friend for life’? When you hit midlife you have the wisdom to appreciate the truth of those words. Very few friendships last a lifetime. Most friendships happen because of sharing particular orbits, like attending elementary school together, high school, or college. Some friends you meet because you were in the same play group, or hung out on the sidelines together at your kids’ sports events, or worked together in a professional setting.

With friends for a reason/season, once you are no longer in the same orbit they mostly fade away. Maybe you feel bad about that but mostly you don’t. It’s just one of those things that happens. You probably don’t have enough time to keep every friend you ever made anyway, right?

So why don’t we think about our possessions the same way?

Friends for a Reason

Let’s begin with Friends for a Reason because they should be the easiest to declutter.. There are so many reasons we acquire things, let’s explore some super-specific ones.

Your 11 year old sprains their ankle playing lacrosse and crutches enter the house. Nine years go by and they are still tucked in the corner of the hall closet.

You hosted a Cinco de Mayo party when you were 26 and bought cool margarita glasses for the occasion. Now in your 50s tequila is not your thing and you never make margaritas. Still, 7 of the 8 glasses sit in the high cabinet above your fidge.

You finish your book on the last day of vacation and have to buy one for the flight home at the airport book store. You read half of it but then life happened when you got home and you still haven’t finished it, 5 years later.

These things all served a specific purpose and it was not a mistake to buy them. But that reason was so specific that they became almost immediately irrelevant in your life. And yet they stayed. So now the time has come to thank them for their service in your life and let them go, just like you did with that friend you made in jury duty that time!

Friends for a Season

Friends for a season remain relevant for far longer and most likely you harbor some feelings of attachment towards them.

You bought stadium chairs (the kind that hook to bench seats) emblazoned with your kid’s high school mascot. It was a football fundraiser and you thought they would come in handy. Boy, did they! They made 3 kids’ worth of high school sports more comfortable for you and your in-laws. They served you so well! Your youngest is now a junior in college and it’s been 4 years since anyone used the chairs – they aren’t very versatile since they were made specifically for high school bleacher seats.

You can still remember the day you bought the sand toys at Target. They’ve been to the playground, the beach and the flower bed in your backyard. Your kids made sandcastles, dug holes and made messes with them. That was 15 years ago and now they sit in a neglected tub of ‘summer stuff’ in your garage. It was a glorious season of your children’ s youth

You came of age watching Sex and the City and they got you with the shoes – you couldn’t get enough of high heels! They made you feel so powerful and confident as you strode the halls at work. You built a career in them and loved admiring the special place you made for them in your closet. And now they hurt your feet. You find yourself reaching for the cute loafers and flats instead. And you still love shoes but you now worship at the altar of sneakers.

Some of these seasons were longer than others, but all were significant in your life. It can feel sad to say goodbye. But just like your human friends for a season, they slowly faded into the background. Unlike your friends for a season, they are still taking up space. Using ritual as a way to say goodbye is a helpful strategy. A meal to share memories, some music or a toast all  allow space to feel your feelings before saying goodbye.

Friends for Life

When you let go of your friends for a reason and a season, you are left with the stuff that matters. These are the things you know you want to keep for life. They’re your besties!

The copy of Pride and Prejudice you’ve been re-reading since high school. The Patagonia parka that never wears out and is always a classic. Or the painting you found at a random gallery that still makes you happy every time you pass by it. That’s the stuff, peeps. When you clear out the rest, you have more room to appreciate your friends for life. 

So get going with that decluttering and use the ‘friends’ filter! It works no matter what area of your home you are decluttering; the garage, the kitchen or your bedroom closet. All are full of ‘friends’ I guarantee. Oh and the best part? When you declutter you make room for new friends – the ones you haven’t met yet! 

If you are ready to declutter and say a final goodbye to the seasonal ‘friends’ still residing in your home, I have a Blueprint to help smooth the path. It will save you time, energy and money as you shed the deadwood and uncover the home that reflects your life (and the lifelong friends in it) today!